Adventures > Sumo
Wrestling on Best Damn Sports Show
Every
time I’m invited as a guest on Fox’s
Best Damn Sports Show the producer Laura Marcus
attempts to find some crazy skit to challenge athletic
prowess. I played full contact Slamball on a makeshift
trampoline court. I competed in an insane game of
retrieving hockey pucks from a tank filled with
live snakes. And I sumo wrestled co-host Ron Dibble.
Dibble – affectionately known as “Dibbs”
- and I were wedged into two outrageously snug Sumo
outfits and then decorated in hideous Santa costumes
for a best-of-three Christmas death match. Now I
should mention that Dibbs weighs about 100 pounds
more than me and no amount of martial arts training
was going to help me flatten the big man. I could
barely move my arms and legs to walk let alone to
execute punches and kicks.
But the will and effort were there!
At the signal from show host Chris Rose, round one
commenced with us charging each other like two overstuffed
baby bulls. Upon contact we locked arms. That was
my first mistake. The big man kept coming and drove
me off the mat like I was skiing backwards.
I needed another strategy. Fast!
We positioned ourselves in the Sumo starting stance.
This time at Rose’s signal, I faked like I
was going to lunge forward and instead darted left
– as fast as you can in a fat suit –
and attacked Dibbs from his right side. I was hoping
to push him in the direction of his massive momentum.
Good plan but poor execution. Dibbs immediately
rolled his beef to the left sending me airborne
over his right shoulder – right off the mat.
The Santa Sumo champion was Dibbs.
My only consolation was while four production crew
members were attempting to extricate a supine Dibbs
from the sweaty fat suit – and unsuccessfully
I might add – I jumped on his back and rode
him like a beached whale.
He relinquished his title.
PC and ex-Cincinnati Reds Rob Dibble prepare for Santa Sumo Wrestling.
PC and Dibble cheered on by Rodney Pete, Chris Rose, and John Salley.
