Attention

“If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart.” - Pema Chodron

Ask yourself: How is it the blame I project onto the person, situation, or experience that I believe to be the cause of my suffering garner more attention than from where the psychological pain (dukkha) is presently and really arising?

Recognize that nothing can cause you dukkha without your permission. Where you readily focus your attention becomes the apparent reality of your present moment experience. And unfortunately, it tends to be much easier - due to conditioned karmic energy - to place your attention on anything other than yourself.